Dilbert – An Elbonian start-up invented a new kind of computer mouse.
Angry Green Guy – Wait until I tell the world that you compared Elbonians to mice, you racists!
Angry Green Guy- Hi. I’m Dick. From the Internet.
Wally – We’re familiar with your work.
Which brings me to the subject of Western fatuity, and Mark Steyn’s brilliant observation, on hearing people argue about safe spaces and trigger warnings, a few weeks ago, that “this is what we will be debating when the mullahs nuke us”.
And the best one of all is from Faisal Saeed Al Mutar, an Iraqi-born secular humanist out of Washington DC, who dissects the western response to Islam deliciously as follows:
“It must be incredibly frustrating as an Islamic terrorist not to have your views and motives taken seriously by the societies you terrorize, even after you have explicitly and repeatedly stated them,” the author began.
The author then launched into a mock Monty Python-type exchange between a “self-loathing” liberal and an Islamic terrorist about exactly who is responsible for Islamic acts of terror — and what the motivations are.
It began with the Islamic terrorist’s declaration that “we did this because our holy texts exhort us to …”
The liberal is having none of that: “No, you didn’t.”
And then things get really interesting:
“Wait, what? Yes we did…”
“No, this has nothing to do with religion. You guys are just using religion as a front for social and geopolitical reasons.”
“WHAT!? Did you even read our official statement? We give explicit Quranic justification. This is jihad, a holy crusade against pagans, blasphemers, and disbelievers.”
“No, this is definitely not a Muslim thing. You guys are not true Muslims, and you defame a great religion by saying so.”
“Huh!? Who are you to tell us we’re not true Muslims!? Islam is literally at the core of everything we do, and we have implemented the truest most literal and honest interpretation of its founding texts. It is our very reason for being.”
“Nope. We created you. We installed a social and economic system that alienates and disenfranchises you, and that’s why you did this. We’re sorry.”
“What? Why are you apologizing? We just slaughtered you mercilessly in the streets. We targeted unwitting civilians — disenfranchisement doesn’t even enter into it!”
“Listen, it’s our fault. We don’t blame you for feeling unwelcome and lashing out.”
“Seriously, stop taking credit for this! We worked really hard to pull this off, and we’re not going to let you take it away from us.”
“No, we nourished your extremism. We accept full blame.”
“OMG, how many people do we have to kill around here to finally get our message across?”